it's been a long time coming... a look back at where i've been and what i've don

Deuteronomy 4:31 For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath.

Isiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

This year has really been a roller coaster and has really helped me become a better person. I have gone from being in love to hating myself for thinking it could work; from hardcore politico to hardcore meteorlogy... and, as most of you know, it all came to a head a couple weeks ago.

so what have i learned?

well...

i learned that no matter what goes on in life i'll always have Jesus; that God will never hate me despite what i think and that He blesses me every day.

I learned that love doesnt stop after high school. you all know the story, im sure... i meet amazing girl. i really like her. i dont have the guts to tell her. so i tell her i used to like her. i still did. you know... the same old same old. in fact i still did until here recently and had my soul searching episode. i came to a realization-- love doesnt stop after high school! in fact, some could say it begins! i mean, think about it! you get a whole new start in college! ( unless you go to AC ;P) so what if the girl you like doesnt like you? life goes on.

I learned who my friends are.

I learned that pride does go before a fall.

I learned how much i love my grandaddy and how devastated i will be when he is called higher.

in a sense, i'm learning who i am.

i love you all.

____________________________________________
How naive i was when i posted this earlier. I thought everything was gonna be great. Oh, how wrong i was.

I can honestly say that this last half-year (?) has been a living hell for me. But these passages really helped me through, along with a great network of Christians, which undoubtedly saved my life. In mid-January i met a girl who i knew i loved. i knew it. but she exploited me and took advantage of me and hurt me and scarred me in ways i may never recover. i had many thoughts of ending it all, because of her. But i pereservered, and now i use that experience to help other people get through and see that broken hearts happen, and God can heal you, if you just let Him in and let Him change you. I battled an addiction to pornography (which i am still fighting, please keep me in your prayers) and hit rock bottom, for sure. It was then, probably in April, that i realized what kind of a monster I have become, and how much i really loathed myself. I re-dedicated my life to Christ, my Lord and Savior, and things have gotten so much better in all aspects of my life. I have grown a much more solid faith, because "perservere through trials of many kinds, for they build faith) ( i'm sure i messed that passage up...) but God has blessed me with an amazing girl who loves me for who i am, despite my countless imperfections. I have done a complete 180 from the person i used to be. I've lost 30 lbs, really gotten my language in check, not even thought about a minor traffic violation, when last september i was arrested for reckless endangerment for almost tripling the speed limit, and have become a better person in general. I might not be a good example of Christianity, but i'm a lot better than i used to be. Every day is a struggle, but i keep my eyes on Christ and power through anything satan throws in my way.

amen.

-Storm

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